The Last Year

When I was a child I had this idea that I would die at either 33 or 34. And enough people told me to "stop saying that". But I didn't forget it as I entered 33- my "Jesus Year" and was confronted with death twice in a way I never had been- so up close, so personal. I'm not sure that my premonition wasn't of a metaphorical death which I welcome. Letting all that no longer serves me die off.. like the lizard's tail that was dropped so he could run away from his predator and survive. The tail twitches on it's own like crazy... before slowing down... and dying. The lizard gets to grow a new strong long tail. And in the in between time must feel a little lighter on his feet before his new baggage arrives.

Every body has heard "Live each day like it's your last!" thrown around. Which is awful advice. Because in that case, I would probably spend the day playing in the ocean and eating pizza. So I'm tweaking it. I'm living this year like it's my last. As stated below:

The final year- what a reason to celebrate ❤️

I spent 6 months out of my 33rd year watching my best friend in the world prepare to leave her body. I remember stopping, and feeling a pain in my chest so strong that made me say to myself “Oh wow. This is why they call it heartbreak.” My stomach tossed around my body as I stared at my phone while a family member had life saving surgery 2400 miles away. I was asked to let go, to get out of the drivers seat, to please finally drop the oars I’ve been using to push through resistance so forcefully with -so many times -that my new goal is to never pick them up again. And yet through all of the challenges there was so much magic and grace weaved in. There were countless shooting stars, a bunch of new friends and opportunities, a lot of yoga and meditation, a flight booked to ensure another stamp in my passport... It took me 84 million lifetimes to end up in this body. I’m clearer on what’s important. I’m asking for so much more. This movie that I’ve been watching for over 30 years now, has a lovely heroine, and I’ve never been rooting for her more 💕🌎🌌🎇

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